


Not a Time Lady

by Vibrant_Orchid



Category: Doctor Who (2005), The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Canon Non-Binary Character, Gen, Non-binary character, The Thasmin Jumped Out (And I Oop)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-04-08 04:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19099432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vibrant_Orchid/pseuds/Vibrant_Orchid
Summary: The Doctor experiences a little Timey-Wimey Jeremy Bearimy mix-up and picks up some odd luggage after she drops off Yazmin, Ryan, and Graham on Earth. She can't really be blamed-because hey, pobody's nerfectOpen to Constructive Criticism!Find me on Twitter to ask questions and for story update notifications: @vibrant_orchidThere's now a Vibrant Orchid Tumblr: vibrantorchid.tumblr.com





	Not a Time Lady

The TARDIS doors closed with a satisfying creak. Unique in that it sounded equally like the creak of a rusted hinge, and as if it had been newly installed. The Doctor had stepped through, her brow still covered in perspiration from her near-constant runs from danger. "That'll be the last time I bring a pair of bright red toe socks to a Kloxafarian christening, isn't that right fam?" She turned around to see no one.  

“Yaz? Ryan? Graham? Where are all of you? Oh, wait,” The Doctor snaps her finger and clutches her forehead. “I’ve already dropped them off, Doctor. Look at you being all silly again. I guess I can’t blame myself. Those venom darts sure do pack a bite, not to mention some minor amnesia,” She slumped to the floor and leaned herself up against one of the TARDIS’s crystal columns.Her eyes were closed as she tried to decrease any extra stimulus and took deep breaths. “It’s really getting to me now. TARDIS, Sexy, I would really appreciate it if you fetched me a custard cream or two, particularly ones laced with anti-venom,” The TARDIS let out a pleasant chirp and a small click as a metal slide descended from the console and into the Doctor’s lap. Two custard creams slid down. “Thank you. It’s moments like these where I’m glad you chose me all those many _many_ years ago," The Doctor hastily consumed the two biscuits and let out a satisfied sigh. She kept her eyes closed, it wasn't often she got a rare moment of pure contemplation like this. Her life only increased from its usual hectic nature with the adoption of not one or two traveling companions, but three. It had been a long time, a few regenerations, since she had to deal with this many people in her life. 

A soothing techno bloop popped from in front of her. The Doctor didn't recognize the sound like anything the TARDIS had made before. She opened her eyes. A figure wearing a ruffled blue blouse with a rhomboidal pattern beneath a purple dress stood firmly. Their posture was straight and professional. "Hi I'm Janet!" they said.  

The Doctor practically jumped up from where she sat. "Wait who are you?" she asked. "What are you?" she followed with the sonic screwdriver in hand. Its scans revealed the figure named Janet was something most peculiar. The Doctor began to circle around Janet. "You're not human, you're not exactly an alien either," 

"That's correct, I'm not a person. I'm not sure what I am actually," Janet said this with a grin of impossible strength.

The cloister bells of the TARDIS rang and it tried to take off with a terrible screech. The Doctor rushed over to the console. She stumbled as she was still slightly weakened from the ever-fading venom. A screen revealed some kind of dimensional rift had opened up from the TARDIS's previous location.  The Doctor turned to face Janet once again. "Did you come out of this? I need you to tell the truth because I really want to trust you, Janet," 

"I think I did. One second ago I was with my friends and now I'm here. Let me try to use my powers, they don't work in Earth's dimension. That should give me an approximation of where I am. What should I call you?" 

The Doctor took a second to answer. She found her thoughts in admiration of Janet's quick thinking and resourcefulness. "It's the Doctor, I'm _the_ Doctor," 

"Okay Doctor. What do you want? If my powers work you should be able to request something," 

As always, the Doctor took the opportunity to be playful. "How about a fez, Janet?" 

Janet cringed. "Are you sure you want that? Because, fun fact, wearing a fez unironically results in minus 17 points," 

"Minus 17 points in what?" 

"Uh, nothing. Here's your fez," With a bloop, a freshly made fez appeared in Janet's hands. She handed it to the Doctor. "Oh sweet, my powers work here. I guess this isn't part of Earth's dimension,"

The Doctor emitted a child-like laugh as she placed the hat upon her head. "How about something else? Think old school... how about a recorder?" Janet found herself with a recorder in hand before it again fell into the Doctor's hands. "You never do change do you?"  

“I once had a scrolling wheel but I was still Janet,”

Now the Doctor grinned. “You’re brilliant. You’re fascinating. I know you said you were separated from your friends but would you want to travel with me just once?”

“I don’t think I can. I was sort of in the middle of saving my friends and ex but also not ex-husband from eternal damnation. The same old Tuesday for this not a robot,”

“I understand but this, what we’re standing in, is the TARDIS. It stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It’s a time machine. We could pop on over to your friends and be right back at this exact moment, even after twenty outings.”

“That’s an interesting concept maybe I’ll-“ Suddenly the TARDIS lurched and sent the two of them tumbling.

The Doctor crawled back to the console. "Something's damaged the TARDIS, it can't fly anymore," It felt as though the TARDIS interior had free fallen twenty feet.

"That's probably the Time-Knife, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. It corrects faults in time," 

"That would've been useful so many different times," The Doctor muttered. "How do we stop it from destroying my ship?" 

"Despite containing nearly all known knowledge in the universe, I have no idea," Janet shrugged as the ship tossed its passengers about another time. 

The Doctor pulled the emergency brake. The TARDIS stopped and with an otherworldly echo landed with a thud. She checked what was outside, "It's a desert, somewhere on Earth. I'll know more once I get a little nibble of the dirt,"  The Doctor ran outside. 

Janet followed her and said, "Fun Janet fact, I am physically incapable of consuming food," 

"You're an absolute wonder, Janet," The Doctor replied from outside, her voice muffled from a mouthful of dry desert soil. As Janet reached the door, the Doctor bounced back into the doorway, almost having rammed her face into Janet's. "Would you mind summoning, I dunno, a sunhat if you can. Don't forget one for yourself either if you think you'll need one," In another small instant, she rushed herself back outside.  

The Doctor had opened up one of the panels on the TARDIS's exterior. Goggles already adorned her face. She scanned some wires with her sonic, bright blue flashes of sparks flew from within. "Anything I can do to help? I'm a literal tool," Janet said. She sat on a small boulder, her hands holding her head up enthusiastically. 

"Actually, I think I can finish this up pretty quickly," The Doctor said this as they leaned up against the TARDIS. The open panel gave another burst of sparks and the sonic screwdriver flew out of her hands. "Okay, maybe I do need a little help," 

Janet walked over and held up her hand. She shaped it into a claw formation with the intention for it to resemble a wrench. "All ready to go," Janet said paired with a thumbs up. She reached into the depths of the TARDIS. Progress appears to have been made. "I think she likes me. I like you too you odd but beautifully complex wonder box," 

The Doctor couldn't help but sit back for a moment and watch Janet in all her own joy and intrigue. She got up to work and help out. "So Janet, what exactly are you doing here, wouldn't want to be counterproductive?"

With her hand still deep inside the reaches of the TARDIS, Janet answered. "Not much, I'm just reversing the polarity of some of the contraptions," 

The Doctor's face lit up with the might of a thousand suns. "Oh, you clever girl!"

A moment of hesitation never had time to pass before Janet politely corrected, "I'm not a girl," 

"Oh. I'm sorry Janet. Bit of a slip of the tongue. Been hanging out with a lot of clever girls recently and it sort of happened," The Doctor looked to the ground in embarrassment. " My bad," 

"No need to worry Doctor. I was merely stating a fact. Confusion about my gender is typical as it resembles the boundless void in which I live in that's also simultaneously inside of me," Janet summoned a pair of sunglasses and threw up a pair of finger guns.

The Doctor chuckled although it dissipated quickly. "Janet, I'm a Gallifreyan, specifically a Time Lord. Whenever our bodies grow worn out or are killed, we have the ability to regenerate. This is the first time I've resembled a woman,"  Janet simply nodded, although she continued to work on the TARDIS just as the Doctor kept her hand awkwardly outstretched so the sonic could also work its magic. "At first I didn't care, I had always been a bit fluid with this kind of things, especially as a child in the Academy. But then, after a few adventures, I felt others expected me to perform a certain way. I couldn't be the Doctor. I had to be 'madam' or 'witch' which sounds fun, and don't get me they were fun at first, after a while, it got suffocating. It has to be some kind of human thing, right? Some old friends of mine never had to deal with this," The Doctor slowly removed her sonic away from the TARDIS as she retreated into her head.  

"If it makes you feel any better, according to some sweet new information I'm picking up from this dimension, as well as my own knowledge, you're partially wrong. Every culture, human or otherwise, has options beyond the gender binary. Only 2% show a preference for those within the binary, this includes Earth," Janet noticed her fact recitation had done little to soothe the Doctor's woe. "The best approach you can have with this is to ignore them. Fight to be you. I'm a not a lady who can kick some demon ash and you're a sort of lady who does whatever you do in this cool box. Nobody's perfect so just ignore them. We just have to let us not gals be pals you know," 

"Oh, Yazmin told me about that, she winked when she said it though. I think you ought to wink too," The Doctor instantly had another thought to add. "Oh-oh-oh, how about we both wink, at each other?" 

"Alright, one, two, three!" At the count of three, they both winked at each other in a goofy display of friendship. 

The Doctor's playful bout extinguished once more, although it didn't drop into sadness. "Thank you, Janet. For helping out, both with the TARDIS and me," 

"No problem, that's literally my sole original function. Side note, I've finished reversing the polarity," Janet pulled her hand out of the TARDIS as it began to spur into motion.  

"It's taking off!" The Doctor shouted. "Run!" The two of them ran inside just as its material form dematerialized from the spot. They were now back inside, the Doctor stood over the console, pouring over the readings. "I think if we go back to the dimensional rift, I can get you back. The TARDIS might not like it much, but it seems like the only option. Janet, if you wouldn't mind I need you to pull on that lever and don't let go. If you do, the TARDIS will be able to resist our little return trip," Janet fluidly walked over to the lever and pulled it down tightly. The Doctor began to flip sets of switches and type in the coordinates. "Get ready, it's going to be a bumpy ride," Despite the increased difficulty, Janet held tight to the lever which, in the same situation would have tossed the Doctor over the console. "You must have quite a grip there," 

"One of the many benefits of being a weird universe tool, cool powers," Janet showed no sign of resistance while the Doctor ran about frantically twisting and slamming knobs and buttons on the console. 

"I've nearly got us there, just...have...to... keep...going," The TARDIS had begun to flip switches in the opposite directions in protest of the Doctor's steering. She had to take extra care and put additional effort into keeping it on track. "I'm really going to miss you, Janet. I hope you get to save your friends, that everyone lives," 

What the Doctor meant as a heartfelt comment flew directly over Janet's head. "My friends are already dead. I killed them to keep them safe in my void from the demon's we were on the run from. They're back now though, in the Medium Place," 

"Now I'm definitely going to miss you. That sounds like an incredible story, fit for TV or something. You make an incredible friend, they're lucky. Here, why don't you take my sonic to help you out I know you're pretty capable on your own but-" The Doctor's eyes widened. Janet had disappeared from the TARDIS. One of its screens beeped, announcing it had arrived at the destination. The Doctor saw the dimensional rift had vanished, likely at the same time Janet had gotten close enough to go through. She took hold of the large switch Janet had been holding, a warmth emanated from it. It was more akin to an overworked computer than the touch of a human hand. "Objectively, I could say she was hot," she said quietly to herself in a near snicker. The Doctor pulled and with the input of a few coordinates was back on Earth. 

 She had only rested her body for a few brief moments when knocks fell upon the TARDIS doors. The monitor revealed it was her "fam". "Damn Doctor, guess you're back at it again with the fam," she said to herself with a silent, but truly genuine, thanks to Ryan who had shown her the Vine compilation. The Doctor smoothed out her coat, brushed her hair with her fingers, and checked her sonic. Finally, and to her most importantly, she wiped away any semblance of concern for Janet or anything else from her face.  A powerful smile was thrown on and she opened the TARDIS doors with her typical overwhelming enthusiasm. The door creaked, as it always had, equally like the meeting of old friends, and saying goodbye to someone new. 


End file.
